Just Another DayTV Show

The scene: Selfridges, the biggest shop in the West End of London. The players: 3,000 employees who are briefed to "entertain the public, not just take their money". Maurice, the postman, is doing his Norman Wisdom act; Colin, the designer, is trying to get a camel to chew sideways, not up and down; and Karen is waylaying unsuspecting men to spray them with a product she has to promote. Prowling, around the store are Bron and Olive, who look like a couple of housewives on a day out: they're after shoplifters and Bron has a reputation for always getting her man or woman, unless they're bigger than me. Backstage, as always, is Stan; the goods liftman who says of customers: "They're all right. I mean we have to have them. It's as simple as that."